First Impressions
First impressions are lasting. The observance of accepted social etiquette is a vital factor in the initial establishment of any sort of relationship and has been so since before the beginnings of civilization.
Etiquette can take the rough edges off contact with those from different cultures by formalizing events, establishing a tentative framework to mediate first meetings and, generally, starting the process required to build the foundation of long-term business or social relationships.
It is a simple fact that we live in a culturally diverse world. However, where there are differences, there also tends to be disharmony. When cultures clash, the importance of etiquette as a key factor of performance is highlighted from the very first instance of contact. In any culture or society, there are accepted, recognized, and expected customary steps that are taken when building a relationship.
Culture & Etiquette
Culture, the framework from where etiquette is derived, has been described as “the collective mental programming of a people” (Hofstede, 1991). As with any type of ‘mental programming’, culture and accompanying etiquette is accepted and conducted without question or explanation by the society involved. However, as an outsider to another’s culture, and understandably questioning the rules of etiquette as they apply to you, how far should one go in pursuing excellence in etiquette?
Etiquette, and its observance, is intended to facilitate the relations between individuals within a society. This does not mean blind obedience to others’ forms of etiquette, but self-determination of how far you are comfortable in observing and practicing ‘different’ etiquette.
What is Etiquette
Etiquette, according to a 19th century British book on the subject is “a sort of supplement to the law, which enables society to protect itself against offenses which the law cannot touch”.
Etiquette is, therefore, generally the informal rules of society that reflect the historic, cultural, and religious preferences of a society beyond the formal legal applications, applied by the individual with other individuals.
Confrontation is generally not the desired outcome for social and business relationships.
We Are All Human
It is very likely that when interacting with a person from another culture or society you will make a faux pas or two on a regular basis – as they will with you. It is difficult to try and remember and put into practice each and every ‘essential’ culturally sensitive aspect of etiquette. Take consolation in the fact that etiquette, like culture, is learned behavior and you can’t learn everything – nor can you learn a lot in a short time. But, you are also never too old to learn either!
Etiquette should be a positive rather than a negative influence on your activities. Allow your natural awareness and open-mindedness take over. Respect other cultures, but always remember that the greatest act of improper etiquette is to ape the acts of another’s culture and not sincerely try to understand. Try to understand why things are done in a certain way or manner, then demonstrate this understanding through your actions.
